Dead Week

I'm all alone in my office now, doing nothing but waiting on orders that never come on time and it's already 9.53pm. At least as I started to type this blog. This is my 4th day in a row, I'm going home this late at night. But this time I'm totally alone, since the rest of my colleagues already gone home. Might as well just use the facility to play around.

I wonder about life now. Perhaps I do have that artist mentality that you should just enjoy life, then again perhaps, I'm still too American to understand that in Asia, people don't understand to the term, "Stop and smell the roses". I mean, working is a part of life... yea. But dude, there's time to stop too. I saw the fatigue on the faces of my colleagues. I wonder, is it worth it? Some of my colleagues hardly sees his/ her family. Their home is at the office. Wow... I wonder if I too, one day will get sucked up in the rat race. I hope not. Live to work or work to live... *sigh* Like my case at the moment... It's not by choice I stayed behind. The company that I'm rendering service does not stop working until late, hence I got to follow their rhythm... or quit. The thing is, this is my first job in Singapore. Should I expect this for all companies? My colleagues said that this only happens, during the financial statement period. At least twice a year. Oh well, we'll see. This week suppose to be the dead week. Hahaha... Remembering that term from my final weeks at Uni. Dead week. So so true.

Anywhoo... Hmmm, I want to write about this one song that stuck in my head these last week, but I guess it has to wait, since now is 10.35 and I'm leaving :P

PS: I'm adding this at home now...
Captain's log 11.29pm... hahaha
One more thing I noticed... when you're too tired, you become forgetful. I ate salted fish fried rice for ta pau dinner... and I planned to bring it home, since I only ate half... and so, mixed with the never ending amendments, phone calls and fatigue, I left it there. Boy of boy, it's going to smell tomorrow. I hope not, but oh well. And I misplaced my notes, well, things kept on being misplaced. Hmmm, so maybe if I meet you, I'll be like this, "Oh your name is Donald? I thought you're Daisy." Hehehehe...

Jokes for the day :)

Just like what Pastor Joel Osteen of Lakewood church use to say, "I'd like to start today with something kinda funny..." Oh how I miss listening to his Sunday sermon on Channel 56 :)

Anyway, I got this joke from my friend, Thomas... So Tom, if you read this (doubt it, hahahaha), me need more supplies, pronto. Laughter is the healthiest vitamins, people!

The Life & Times of Kok Beng
============================

Why did Kok Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
He says it's because below 18 is not allowed...

---

Kok Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
Kok Beng: "Do you have color TVs'
Salesgirl: "Yes, we do!"
Kok Beng: "Then give me a green one, please."

---

Kok Beng is filling up an application form for a job.
He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc.
Then he comes to the column on "Salary Expected," but he is not sure of the question.
After much thought, he writes "Yes."

---

Kok Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Kok Beng: "What is that shiny object?"
Salesgirl: "That is a thermo flask."
Kok Beng: "What does it do?"
Salesgirl: "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
Kok Beng: "Ok, I'll buy it."
The next day, Kok Beng goes to work with his new thermo flask.
He brags to his colleagues, "My new thermo flask keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
"Well, what do you have in it?" a colleague asks.
Kok Beng proudly replies, "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream."

---

Kok Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it.
When he encountered some problems, he decided to use the 'Help' command after some trials.
Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer vendor for support.
"I pressed the 'F1' key for help, but it's been over half an hour and still nobody comes and helps me," he complained.

---

Kok Beng went to his doctor with two red ears.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang--
but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "That must have hurt very much. But .... what happened to the other ear?"
Kok Beng answered: "That stupid dumbo called back!!!!"

---

Kok Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator, "Could you please tell me the time difference between Taipei and Las Vegas?"
The operator replies, "Of course Sir, just a minute..."
Kok Beng says thank you and puts down the phone.

---

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time, Kok Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
"It took me ONLY five months to do it," Kok Beng brags.
"FIVE months? That's too long!" the friend exclaims.
"You are a fool," Kok Beng replies, "See this box, it is written there,
'FOR 4-7 YRS'."

---

At a bar in New York, the man seated to Kok Beng's left tells the bartender, "Johnnie Walker, single," and his companion says, "Jack Daniels, single." The bartender approaches Kok Beng and asks, "And you, Sir?" Kok Beng replies, "Tan Kok Beng, married."

>^.^<

Ring My Bell

I dunno why I was so hyper today. I was busier than before and yet I felt more alive. Yeah, maybe I need to be busy. But to tell you the truth, after last Tuesday's meeting at Church of Our Savior, I felt lighter. Not that everything is gone, but I was just happier.

Wednesday was another "milestone" in my life. I received my PR card. I'm a Singaporean... well at least for 5 years. And with that I can apply for my own mobile phone. To some of you, you might not understand why that's important to a person like me. Well, it's a momento that some of my prayers have been answered. I've been a vagabond all my life, born in Indonesia, live in America and now settling in Singapore. To me Portland is always be my home sweet home. But still when the lady in the Singtel counter asked for my ID (IC in Singapore :D), I handed that card confidently. One of my prayers, was that God will grant me a place to settle and I was too slow to recognize that my prayer has been answered. Of course when I prayed, I was still in Portland and I want to live in US forever, but I was flexible about Singapore, tho not too sure about Indonesia (unless something else happen of course).

Another thing, my friend Darren, reminded me about the fact that I'm a working person, and that I can stand on my own two feet. I felt that I'm starting to belong in the community, not just mooching up the country, not that Singapore will mind, I don't think. Hehehe... No matter how I feel about my job, it's still an answered prayer. Jon told me not to loose focus... I agree, although I feel that I'm placed there for a reason. I hope I'm in the right direction. Que sera sera...

So yeah, I'm writing this post for my new cell phone. It's a reminder of my answered prayers. I'm so hyper that I wrote a silly e-mail about it. And even gave the wrong number to a client... GASP! Oh well, she can always call my DID. I'm yet to memorize my number perfectly. So yeah, call me! hahahaha... or SMS me.

"Toast!" ... Random picture of me and my Indo buddies, Agus, Roland, Jeffry and my lovely cuz, Sisca at Sentosa. Yeah, we talked about our inability to speak Chinese too :D

Mannn! I'm sooooo tanned now. :( My 14 years of hybernation in US gone down the drain.

Collide

As I walked through the busy path of Orchard today, I received a rose (now some of you people would know why I carried a rose, hehehe). I know it's nothing special, it's just some commercial gimmick from a bank. And yet, how sometimes small coincidences like that brought up memories like a surge of geiser.

I thought it's just weird that sometimes a person that matters most to your heart doesn't really care or take you seriously. Awhile back ago when I was still in the States, there were small things that I can count as miracles. Once... It was one of my birthdays, I forgot which ones, but I think I just got my heart broken (yupyupyup one of those crappy puppy love, tho I wasn't that 'puppy' anymore hehehe). SoI just went out with my friends to the summer carnival at the waterfront. I was alone for a moment while my friends were lining up for Umqua Ice Cream. And then all of the sudden there was this young man, caucasian, stopped infront of me and just openly stared at me. I just returned his stare for a moment and then looked somewhere else, pretend he's not even there. And suddenly, he just tapped my arm casually and said, "You are very beautiful," and after saying that remark he left. I could only muster a weak: Thank you. My face was beet red. I was in between confusion and elation. Somebody actually something nice about me. A stranger. It may mean nothing, just like that piece of rose... little things that can cheer me up. It was a part of my birthday present from God. That was just an example.

Now... sometimes a million roses and a million praises can't replace a single recognition from loved ones. That's what bothers me sometime. I shouldn't care too much probably. But shall I say that so far I never received a single rose from the person that I like or love or whatever you want to call it? I've received roses yes... but it was never from the right person (hahahahaha... *sigh*) Just like that song "Collide" by Howie Day. In other news... my mom doesn't believe in special treatments, so different from my aunt. It's like I belong to a wrong family. Maybe I should be cold too, not to care about what people think or feel. I wish my life was simpler that way. Sometimes I feel so lonely in this crowded place...

I don't want to complain about not receiving special treatments. It's just I thought it was sad that I should get it from someone else beside loved ones like my family... But sometimes... talking from a personal experience, there's nothing wrong to shed a little sunshine on someone's life. Just consider it a blessing if you can make someone happy. You don't have to do much or spend a lot of money, but just show that you put an effort in it, I'm sure that person would appreciate it.

And I also have to say I'm sorry to people that I've hurt before because of my neglect. I know how it feels, it hurts...

"What is love? Baby don't hurt me... :-D"

About love... what it means really. The Bible says it best in 1 Cor 13 of course. It's practically read in all weddings. Well, at least Christian weddings. And to a hopeless romantic like me it's like a reason to sigh more... hahaha... Yeah, it's more than that of course.

I went to CHC with my sister today. There's a drama, taken from a true story that happen last year. A Christian man whose neighbor was a non-Christian. Christian was being judgmental about everything, but with his wife's prompt, he began to open up and befriended the neighbor. They became friends and then both changed each other to be a better person. One day the non Christian found out that he's in stage 4 of Cancer. He's dying. But because he seen the care that the Christian guy showed, he and his family accepted Christ. Soon after, he died. And he was saved. There's a reason for everything. And God loved that non Christian enough to let him be saved first so that he goes to a better place. *sniff sniff snort* (I seriously cried on seeing the performance) One of the lines that the actor said, "Love is worth to be taking risk for". True true...

God is love. And today Ps. Kong was taking examples from Luke 10, Matt 8: 1-3... basically the point that Ps. Kong wants to make was the human interaction. Jesus didn't come to preach, he came to love. At some point he stretched and embraced a leper. Love means to deny yourself and care more about others. Learn to understand and see the life of other people more than about you. The focus is not on you.

Mark 5: 21-24, 42-43 ... What did Jesus do? Concern about human needs. Don't shove the gospel down someone's throat. Soul winning is about preaching through your life. Do your best and trust God to do the rest. And again... People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Yeah I guess, I'm not talking about romantic love. But for me, I am trying to be as sincere as I can. Of course, I sometimes entered relationships; might that be friendship or something else with a selfish thought... what can this person do for me... while it's suppose to be the other way around. Just like "Count of Monte Cristo" would say, "I'm just a man (or in this case... a girl), not a saint" :P. But especially in a romantic relationship, although the need to be loved is my main concern, but I also stirs clear from playing with people's hearts. Often some of my friends and relatives said that I lack of tact or too brash, and too naive... but I thought I was just being honest.

God knows my hopeless romantic heart... But yeah, Love... For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son... (John 3:16)

All By Myself

Today was not my day. I tried so hard to be happy and be smiling from ear to ear. But those smiles are empty. Yeah, a good way to bless people, huh? I tried to greet people, but none answered, not a great morning. And you know what, when you fall, you just keep on rolling down. I was way too early to the office. Almost half an hour too early, so I checked my e-mail. Lo and behold, it’s empty… EMPTY!!! Not even a single junk mail. What the heck? Is this some “Let’s avoid Anne’s Day?” Yup it’s one of those days.

Things picked up a bit, because the hustle and bustle of office work took away my self-pity. Yeah… I really need some calories, hahaha. I ain’t a coffee drinker, so to keep me awake usually I eat. My colleagues are nice, but just like Ai Pei said… I don’t really have communistry with them. Considering some of them are Indonesians too. We always hung out at the closest hawker place near the office that even the tea stall uncle memorized our order already. “Teh peng…? (Iced milk tea)”

And I noticed something else in our behavior. We got lots of silent moments. I remembered when during Hope caregroup we talked about silence and yet is still praising… well, this ain’t the case. It was so awkward; I’d rather go back to my office and stared at the computer. It’s so empty. They’re trying to include me inside their little group, but lately I’ve been in a comfy zone of being around Christians, I’m hesitating. God what can I do? I hung out with these people too, in America. How do I show them about Him, without “in your face!” attitude? Everybody is tired, I think it’s not just physically, but on the inside too. And usually in this situation, God seem redundant. I’m battling with my own will, myself. What if, I’m not being a good example? Won’t it just mar His image? Some of them would really try to fit me into their atmosphere. God, why can’t I return the favor? I should get out of my exclusivity mentality and started blending in again.

But yeah, I’ve experienced this before… To be honest, my friend… If you’re far away from God, although people surround you, it’s a tiring and lonely world.

My First Day... of School

Hahaha... Seriously tho. Last Monday was my first day of work. My dad actually drove me to Newton MRT, because he didn't want me to be late. And then on the second day, my mom walked me to the bus' stop and actually waited until I safely tucked inside the bus with the other 'kids'. The only thing missing is just the white picket fences and my lunch box... And the fact that the bus wasn't yellow... *sigh* I missed America. Darn, I miss my car, Duchess.

Oh well, like a good student, I got to the principal's office aka, HR dept. early. The appointment was supposed to be at 9am. I was there at 8.45am. And guess what, HR lady came out... ooo... only a little bit after 9.20am.

She then took me touring the campus, and the pressure of being a new kid was resurrected all over again. All these people looking at me... Fresh meat. And then I was being seated to my classmates. Luckily this ain't Highschool anymore, I didn't meet a queen bee and although I couldn't remember everyone's names, I'm glad that I'm being in a group with Indonesians. I think it's a friendlier territory. And they helped me to get through things.

I'm very grateful for them.

Ooh and today, I got my very own namecards, hehehe... They're pretty... What a dork, hehehe