Collide

As I walked through the busy path of Orchard today, I received a rose (now some of you people would know why I carried a rose, hehehe). I know it's nothing special, it's just some commercial gimmick from a bank. And yet, how sometimes small coincidences like that brought up memories like a surge of geiser.

I thought it's just weird that sometimes a person that matters most to your heart doesn't really care or take you seriously. Awhile back ago when I was still in the States, there were small things that I can count as miracles. Once... It was one of my birthdays, I forgot which ones, but I think I just got my heart broken (yupyupyup one of those crappy puppy love, tho I wasn't that 'puppy' anymore hehehe). SoI just went out with my friends to the summer carnival at the waterfront. I was alone for a moment while my friends were lining up for Umqua Ice Cream. And then all of the sudden there was this young man, caucasian, stopped infront of me and just openly stared at me. I just returned his stare for a moment and then looked somewhere else, pretend he's not even there. And suddenly, he just tapped my arm casually and said, "You are very beautiful," and after saying that remark he left. I could only muster a weak: Thank you. My face was beet red. I was in between confusion and elation. Somebody actually something nice about me. A stranger. It may mean nothing, just like that piece of rose... little things that can cheer me up. It was a part of my birthday present from God. That was just an example.

Now... sometimes a million roses and a million praises can't replace a single recognition from loved ones. That's what bothers me sometime. I shouldn't care too much probably. But shall I say that so far I never received a single rose from the person that I like or love or whatever you want to call it? I've received roses yes... but it was never from the right person (hahahahaha... *sigh*) Just like that song "Collide" by Howie Day. In other news... my mom doesn't believe in special treatments, so different from my aunt. It's like I belong to a wrong family. Maybe I should be cold too, not to care about what people think or feel. I wish my life was simpler that way. Sometimes I feel so lonely in this crowded place...

I don't want to complain about not receiving special treatments. It's just I thought it was sad that I should get it from someone else beside loved ones like my family... But sometimes... talking from a personal experience, there's nothing wrong to shed a little sunshine on someone's life. Just consider it a blessing if you can make someone happy. You don't have to do much or spend a lot of money, but just show that you put an effort in it, I'm sure that person would appreciate it.

And I also have to say I'm sorry to people that I've hurt before because of my neglect. I know how it feels, it hurts...