Swine swindler

I was not having a very good day today. I was being swindled. I was on my way back home from my weekly networking meeting. When I passed these 2 indian guys and one of them happen to casually mentioned something to me as he walked pass, and it was the bait. I thought he said something like, "You look very (open)..." or something and that was all it took. I stopped and turned to him and said, "Excuse me?" And before I know it, he started selling off his belief and mentioned that he teaches Yoga and would like to read my fortune. I was like, "Uh huh (WEIRDO!)" He said my chakra was open and I got a very good eyes and I should not worried too much. I will be a millionaire, he said. He was about to pull me to a corner, when I told him that I got to go for a meeting. And then and there I should just walk away, but there's a feeling of decency in me to just stop a bit and listen to his reply before you walk off from people. At the same time, I felt that as though he's going to scream at me or something. I was feeling uncomfortable. Very much so. He said he's some holy people, he believes in Yoga. And he wrote me something in a piece of paper and gave it to me, I was like, yeah... give it to my hand that's holding a piece of tissue, so I can throw it away at the same time. And then as I was ready to leave, he said, "Pick a number below 9." I said, "7" And he said that he knew it and said to open the paper that he gave me earlier. Tcheah... Lucky guess. I think most either pick 7 or 8. But at that time, I should just walk away instead he open his pocket book, showing off his Ganesha or whoever is in there and start saying that he's some holy man and roughly speaking, "Give me your money." At first I claimed that I don't have cash with me. (I got $30 in my wallet) and he kept on prodding and at that moment for some reason I froze like an idiot and give him $10 just to brush him off. He saw that I have more. What a devil!!! He cleaned me up and still ask for more saying that with my big fortune, I got to pay for it. I don't know why I can't just be a jerk and told him off the first time. I DON'T EVEN BELIEVE IN YOUR MUMBO JUMBO!!! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU SATAN! Darn. I think I forgot to equip myself with my faith. Oh well, you know what. I believe that God can understand and some good will come out from all these. Hopefully that loser didn't use it to buy drugs (don't seem the type, but maybe some Holy hashis can slip thru the system).

And this is the e-mail that I wrote to my boss:

I don’t know what I got myself into… I think this headache really messed me up. I was being swindled today. As I was trying to get home, some Indian guy, introduced himself as some holy man, and although I already said I have a meeting to go to etc, he managed to get $30 from me, just because he said that I will be rich soon (the process was more complicated than just saying that I’m getting rich soon). He did some trick that predict my lucky number and other stuff, and silly me, I should have just walked away rather than have him see my palms, showed me his gods photos, etc. I SHOULD HAVE JUST WALKED AWAY. I felt like I have a mark in my forehead saying GULLIBLE. I don’t believe at whatever he’s saying, but there’s this feeling of ‘Paiseh’ when he asked me for my money. I felt as though he’s going to scream or do something bad to me if I don’t give him my money. It was an empty road, although it’s open/ next to heavy traffic. Good thing I’ve spent the better part of it for BNI. I’m really pissed at myself now and rather than healed, my headache grew.

I don't want to go against whatever religion, but seriously, this is not religious at all. You just don't ask money from people that you just 'help'. If your 'god' is really that powerful, you should get a better commission from this god, rather than getting meager change from poor victims like me. You don't scare people to get money... Or you're just the same as any swindler... SWINES! I think this is really the work of the Devil. No matter what form of religion he wants to mask himself in. Chakras, my butt.

Boredom

The busy-ness of the conference had died down for a month now. And as much as I don't mind meeting new people, some people are just not worth to see again after you make their acquaintance. I think I have to say that I'm a very gifted debutante. Once 'special' people left the door, s/he will not see my invitation again.

I still have not found my niche, may it be working from home or working at an office. I ended up missing what the other can offer.

Yesterday, I was very tired due to the horrid humid and hot weather. It just sapped the strength out of you. And it had been a long day. Aside from a very good sermon at New Creation Church, I was beat. And it showed on my face and my physiology. I sounded like Paula Abdul on Coke (the soda). I made silly comments to my husband's partners and I felt bad about it. I wasn't even realizing it when it happen. Only at night when we recap on what's going on the day, he asked me why my replies were weird and don't make sense... There goes my 'debutante' status. Maybe I can still fit, the ones that were heavily boozed up.

I was feeling heavy about my life journey... Or shall I say my working life journey. I am easily bored and unmotivated. In a sense God gave me a better solutions in my current state. Lighter work hours and more freedom by working from home. But of course, one thing that I want the most is not there. Freedom. I was trying to say that to Jon's partners yesterday, but instead mumbles came out from my mouth. I can be your good host, carry myself well, socialize here and there, but don't ask me if I want to spearhead a rubber hose company. So boring. I ended up mumbling something alongside of being an artist and what not. I don't mind embarassing myself, since I've done it before, but I don't want to make my husband feel bad about it. I feel like a dumb ditsy blonde.

I love to read, and I like to learn new things too... But sad thing is none of these pay. I love to draw and design, but I feel that my ability is just so-so. I love to sing and perform, although I don't love the bohemian lifestyle that ensued. I love to perform for church function, but since my husband rubbed some cliques the wrong way, I guess I have to kiss that goodbye also. I don't blame Jon. He's a part of me, and what makes him happy it's like a surge of endorphine on my system also. It's just that once in awhile, my feelings just doesn't want to agree.

Am I a true artist? Or still dazed and confused in my own fairy tale reality? I still feel like a little girl trapped in a mature world. I felt like I don't know anything, and yet, I do know something, that I'm not that bad. I'm not so helpless. I just want my freedom. But I guess this can only happen on the next life. Not here.

that figure in your peripheral

I have been wanting to post this thought as some kind of result of experimentation. But it happen in real life and was in real time and result may vary. So don't ask for your money back if this so called remedy doesn't work.

I am not a fan of horror stories or movies, and after watching 'The Grudge' I don't intend to continue our relationship. Pun intended. But that curiosity is always there, clawing at me, enticing me to sneak a peek. The figure in your peripheral. Never really in your focus but bugging you like eye bugger. And when that one-second flash scared the crap out of you, it's too late to feel sorry for yourself. And it takes time to wiped that junk from your database, like a bad case of virus.

Now there were some times, that those one-second flashes didn't really affect me. And here's a case: I was very sad a couple days ago. With everything that happens surrounds my husband. I felt frustrated, upset, sad, all mixed into one. I understand my husband. I understand the care group people. Yet I know that the both sides 'speak different languages'. I'm stuck in the middle not knowing how to 'translate'. Before long, one decided to burn the bridges of friendship and the other helped fanned the flame. Both were right and both were wrong, but in the middle of finger pointing, both failed to see the other four fingers that pointing at themselves. And trust me, nobody will say that they are at fault. And I'm tired to be the middle ground. I didn't even agree to the meeting to begin with. So that was that. I came home in a crumpled mess emotionally. Worn out by senseless battle of banters. I've been saying quite a number of time that I'm tired of people. I like my role as a bystander. I'm just a witness - but with their guns blazing they were not looking at where they're aiming. I must say that they're not aiming perfectly, hence 'civilians' down. Call the medic!

And now I am a ghost. A crying one. The TV was on and the volume was loud to drown my sorrow. Then it came. The Ring's ghost, Samara, waved her appearance, asking for attention - plus other freak shows. Their music were intentionally haunting. I cried harder. The volume really good to buffer my sadness. And with all those stricken contorted face and bad hair day, I can only blamed the girl for getting herself into that stupid situation. I was too absorbed to be affected. Maybe it jolted me out of my reverie, but then I continue wallowing. It only stopped when I saw the exchange between Simon Cowell and the 'saved' Matt Giraud. Then my attention is secured.

So there you go folks... When you're sad, you throw your creepy crawlies out in the wind. I rest... my case.

Another beginning

Never really feel the time breezed out when you're having a break. Since I lost my job in October, it was really amazing that the plan that I was thinking of didn't work out and before you know it... It's January. And I will start with my new job soon. If I would like to summarize those missing 3 months, I would say that aside from my China trip I was (or I thought so) quite diligent in resume sending, attended a few interviews and taking care of my house and my husband. Aside from that, I don't think I did anything else. Which is quite sad. I hardly even stepped outside the house to shop. Imagine that. Yes I shopped for groceries. But it was with Jon (meaning, no time to browse) and it's out of my norm not to look around and window shop all those nice frills along the fashion spreads.

Now I became engrossed on what's the latest book rack at IKEA's catalogue rather than checking out fashion magazine for the latest trends. Well, usually I hardly notice the trends from fashion magazine anyway. I thought most fashion that were drapped there were not suitable to wear. It's just for art sake they were there. All in all, though, I am not that bad as in memorizing the furniture name such as SVAJZ or KALLT or whatever that IKEA conjured up. I know the name or even able to spell it, but I couldn't connect them to the items. It's just stuck on me brain because I've seen it quite a bit.

What's my resolution? I must say... Just to enjoy life as it may come. I would love to be able to sing more. Nothing ambitious. With all that's happening in the world, I became more and more cloistered in this cocoon of self perservation in not knowing. Might as well, God come now and take this creature comfort home. Hehehe. I know that when I checked my bank book, I somewhat amazed that I managed to save quite a bit, although I'm an impulsive shopper. And that God is providing for us through it all.

See... time ran out as I'm blogging this and I have to go out and meeting with my relatives now...

Daily dose of smile

I was thinking about writing my China Experience in this blog, and come to think of it, I don't know when would it end... For example, I couldn't even finish my Jakarta trip blog from 6 months ago and now it lays dormant on the draft portion of the blog, hehehe... So as I was checking out my mails, I found a few joke or two:

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has seven items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, deodorant and a towel . The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

Let Him do the cold calling

Sales, is the word that I dreaded now as I search into open positions in the market place. I've been in that arena and no matter how mild the experience be, I'd rather be doing something else. Market place is big world of sales, and no matter how low the association may be, but without "sales" there will not be economy, there will be no CEOs, or even money (concrete form or otherwise).

And yet another thing... you need to have a great ability to humble yourself to be going far in this sector. You have to be able to suck your pride as those rude receivers hung up on you before you even done speaking for the umpteenth time. You are just this medium with no thoughts or feelings. I really applaud these people's ability. If I may say so, I'm in a more 'stuck up' place of sales, meaning, I'd rather do marketing. Yes, there's sales factor in them, but I don't need to be the end of the spear. I'm playing the supportive stick. Figuratively.

So for all of you business people out there. May it be the front runner, or the one hiding behind, I read a verse that can be a good encouragement. And where else would that be if not in Proverbs, hehehehe...

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." (Proverbs 16:3, NIV) But I like New King James version better...
"Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established."

Notice that in NKJV, it states... "your thoughts will be established." As you're about to do up your sales (or in another current cooler, more dignifying term: Business Development). Before you even manage to utter a word, just pray that whatever that you would like to say is all guided by God so all is well, whatever the result may be. Even when that phone or meeting slams the door infront of your face, you will deflect it better knowing that God is with you. And when one door is closed, many other thing will be open, "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." (Proverbs 16:9) Notice the word 'steps'. Not just one but many. Amen.

On a lighter note, I received this e-mail from a friend of mine in Indonesia. It's a joke about Marketing terms. The joke is in Indonesian, but I shall try to translate it. Hopefully I don't loose the undertone due to the language barrier...

The text is in Indonesian slang:Istilah Dalam Dunia Marketing (translated: Marketing Terminology)

1. Loe liat seorang cewek cantik d sebuah pesta.. loe samperin trus langsung ngomong, 'Gw orang kaya, nikah sama gw yuk!' Itu namanya Direct Marketing.
(translation) You saw a beautiful chick at a party... You approached her and then said, "I'm rich. Marry me!" That is called Direct Marketing.

2. Loe lagi di sebuah pesta sama temen2 gokil loe trus loe tiba2 liat ada cewe cakep banget.. Salah satu temen loe samperin tuh cewe sambil nunjuk ke loe dia ngmg, 'Dia orang kaya, nikah ama dia yah!' Itu namanya Advertising.
(translation) You were in a party with your dorky friends when suddenly you saw this very cute chick. One of your friends approached the girl and pointed finger at you while saying, "He's loaded, marry him!" That is called Advertising.

3. Loe liat seorang cewek cantik d sebuah pesta.. loe samperin trus minta nomor HP-nya.. besokannya loe telpon dia trus langsung ngomong, 'Gw orang kaya, nikah sama gw yuk!' Itu namanya Telemarketing.
(translation) You saw a pretty chick at a party. You approached her and asked for her mobile. The next day you rang her up and said, "I'm rich, marry me!" That is called Telemarketing.

4. Loe liat seorang cewek cantik d sebuah pesta.. loe rapihin dasi gembel loe, loe tuangin minum buat dia, bukain pintu buat dia, bawain barang2nya, trus sambil loe anterin pulang loe ngomong, 'btw gw orang kaya, nikah sama gw yuk!' Itu namanya Public Relations.
(translation) You saw a pretty girl at a party; straightening up your ugly tie, you poured a drink for her, opened the door for her, carried her stuff, and while you're driving her home, you blurted, "By the way, am rich. Marry me!" That is called Public Relations.

5. Loe liat cewek cantik di sebuah pesta.. Dia nyamperin loe trus ngmg, 'Loe orang kaya kan, nikah sama gw yuk!' Itu namanya Brand Recognition. (translation) You saw a pretty girl at a party... She sauntered to you and said, "I heard you're loaded... Marry me, K?" That is called Brand Recognition.

6. Loe liat seorang cewek cantik d sebuah pesta.. loe samperin trus langsung ngomong, 'Gw orang kaya, nikah sama gw yuk!' trus loe dapet gamparan pedes dari dia.. Itu namanya Customer Feedback.
(translation) You saw a pretty girl at a party. You approached her and said, "I'm rich, marry me!" then she slapped you hard. That is called Customer Feedback.

7. Loe liat seorang cewek cantik d sebuah pesta.. loe samperin trus langsung ngomong, 'Gw orang kaya, nikah sama gw yuk!' trus dia kenalin loe ke suaminya.. Itu namanya Demand and Supply Gap.
(translation) You saw a pretty girl at a party... you approached her and said, "I'm rich, marry me!" then she introduced you to her husband. That is called Demand and Supply Gap.

8. Loe liat seorang cewek cantik d sebuah pesta.. loe samperin tp blom juga loe sempet ngmg apa2, ada cowo laen dateng trus langsung ngomong, 'Gw orang kaya, nikah sama gw yuk!' .. Itu namanya Marketing Competition.
(translation) You saw a pretty girl at a party... you're approaching her, but before you managed to utter a word, there's another dude cut the line and said, "I'm rich, marry me!" That is called Marketing Competition.

9. Loe liat seorang cewek cantik d sebuah pesta.. loe samperin tp blom juga loe sempet ngmg apa2, ada cowo laen dateng trus langsung ngomong, 'Gw orang kaya, nikah sama gw yuk!' dan tuh cewe cabut pergi ma itu cowo.. Itu namanya Losing Market Share.
(translation) You saw a pretty girl at a party... you're approaching her, but before you managed to utter a word, there's another dude cut the line and said, "I'm rich, marry me!" and she bounced with him... That is called Losing Market Share.

10. Loe liat seorang cewek cantik d sebuah pesta.. loe samperin tp blom juga loe sempet ngmg 'Gw orang kaya, nikah sama gw yuk!' .. tiba2 istri loe nongol..!! Itu namanya Barrier To New Market Entry.
(translation) You saw a pretty girl at a party... you approached her, but before you managed to utter, "I'm rich, marry me!" all of the sudden your wife appeared!! That is called Barrier to New Market Entry.

Lead me to the Cross

The messages these past few weeks at church really has blessed me. Especially yesterday when Pastor Jo had mentioned that we need to screen who do we want to listen to. The misleading power of suggestion that only bring you down, hopeless, frustrated and fearful are not the right message that God wants you to hear. You will be like a stunted plant, that can't grow to be as big as your potential and before you know it, you're missing out on the great things that been laid out for you just because you believe in a sliver of a lie.

Now I always thought that following the Lord, carrying the cross is a terrifying thing. Well you can think that and actually experience the pain and the suffering of the cross. But is that what God would like you to be? Suffering? As I remembered not everybody is called to be a martyr. Even a martyr faced his early doom as a part of a joy of knowing that they will be back home sooner than later, hence their courage to press on. It doesn't mean that you need to be martyr to be a Christian, because as Pastor Jeff (I think), said, that gift can only be used once, while other such as showing kindness, charity, etc. are continuous. So what's your giftings? God know you better than you know yourself. He knows your strength and weaknesses and how to applied them for His glory. Something that you may think is your strength may not be what God has in mind for you. And in all things, He still managed to laugh at your antics.

I believe that God know our limits and boundaries. Hey, as I mentioned in my previous post, I'm a creature of comfort. I can be comparable to a house cat (maybe even a plump, ginger colored tabby, hehe). And in all things God gave me avenues to really try and to be hands on in His projects. As of now, I know that God wants me to use my voice to bless people. But He also is still faithful to me in regard on touching other people's lives. Every time I lost out on a soul, I felt that I failed Him. And yet, he kept opening doors to another one, as though trying to tell me that it's not my fault. And I pray that all any little seeds that I manage to plant (or more likely... throw) can bud into a larger tree of faith.

I just read a message today speaking about the joy of being with our fellow Christian. It says, " I'm sure you have your own stories about meeting fellow brothers and sisters in Christ along life's road, sensing that eternal bond, and coming away with uplifted spirits. It's something that I cherish about being a part of the body of Christ." Have you felt that way when you meet random people that happen to be a Christian and you two strike a conversation, and for some reason you felt as though you just flow nicely with them? That's why sometimes, and please pardon me... I don't really like hanging out with Non Christian, because I felt their 'hopelessness', no matter how chirpy they are with their life. I sensed their 'emptiness', and I don't like the feeling of it. I know I shouldn't do that, but again God didn't give up on me, by sending me the backsliders. Funny that way. The ones that was not deeply rooted and hurt in the process. So it's a half baked people, that still have a sense of God's light but chose to meander from it. I think I can still speak their lingo. Another part of the chapter that I read was this sentence, "Does my life indicate that Jesus loves (the world) as much as God loves Jesus?"

Within that same chapter, aside from the author talking about the joy to be around our fellow brother and sister, she also put down John 17:23, which lead me to read the whole chapter by itself. And I could not help but teared up when I started reading the title: Jesus prays for all believers (NIV). Now if you noticed, this chapter was during his tumultuous struggle to continue on with what God has in store for Him. The cross. He was in Gethsemane, soon to be captured to be crucified. And yet He had time to think about us, in present time, that we may enjoy life on earth that He didn't have, the lives that God bless us with and the eternal union with Him later when it's time for us to go home.

"My (Jesus) prayer is not for them (the disciples) alone. I pray also for those who will believe in Me through their (the disciples) message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as You are in Me and I am in You. May they also be in Us so that the world may believe that You have sent Me. I have given them the glory that You gave Me, that they may be one as We are one. I brought complete unity to let the world know that You sent Me and have loved them even as You have loved Me. Father, I want those you have given Me to be with Me where I am, and to see My glory, the glory You have given Me because You loved Me before the creation of the world. Righteous Father, though the world does not know You, I know You and they know that You have sent Me. I have made You known to them, and will continue to make You known in order that the love You have for Me may be in them and that I myself may be in them." John 17: 20 - 26.

Have a great and blessed week ahead! Do enjoy the music video below. (Ahem... perhaps I can sing this at church too, hehehehe)



God bless you!