To Write Again... Or At Least Try

It has been one year and a half, give or take, since my last post. Things happened, happy and sad. It's life. Within that window of time, I lost my dream job, I became a mother, I was fatherless, and now I'm in my second month in my journey to be a mother again. Life with God is just so full of surprises. How can I explain to myself seven years ago, that I will be blessed with two children, when at that time, my reproduction system was in jeopardy? How would I calm myself as I was crying at night, heartbroken and worried that I would end up unmarried and if I do, childless? I still remember as the year rolling to 2005. I finished watching all the fireworks on TV, I stared at myself in the mirror in my toilet, ruminating: What will become of my life. I was going to be thirty and yet, I was single, with no career or anything to be proud of and overweight. I felt alone, overpopulating the world with my existence and downright ugly. Well, I guess, I'm not everybody. I should have known that I am no standard. Most of my school mates were either married with kids or married to their jobs. I still clung to the hope that I can be that next 'Christina Aguilera' and I collected clippings of celebrities. And as the year 2005 rolled by, my life had stream rolled itself to many milestones. I did remember that God had assured me that everything will be OK. I left my home that summer 2005, uncertain and crying in the airplane alone. I was diagnosed with a huge fibrosis in the fall, operated on, recovered. And toward the cusp of 2005 I met a friend who would become my husband. Now with my second baby inside me, I felt as though I was being speed up in life. Me, who are not fond of kids, are blessed with two - my first one is very cute to boot, that I couldn't stay mad at him for long when he's throwing his best to annoy me. I couldn't do that to other kids or babies... I still can't. It's like God knows my weakness when He gave me Taylor. Taylor is really tailored to fit me. People said that because he's my son that is why I find him irresistible. Perhaps. But I'm still very biased to say that he is just the cutest, full stop. If all these are not God's grace, I don't know what's this. Be writing again... Have to feed the baby in my tummy...