Count It All Joy

Yes people, if you're reading this blog about me getting a job negotiation, you're on the right entry. Especially to my friend, Emily, who encouraged me right before I was calling the company that I will work with. Your timing is impeccable. God bless you! :-) And to Dee... When you said I sounded cheerful, now you know the truth. Now to all of y'all my readers, single, married, and especially the ones who's planning to be a parent. Beware of things that you say to your children. You are prophesying about their futures. Especially if you said it wholeheartedly. I can understand (or not) about my parents background, but since now I know better (and I hope you do too), I have the obligation to break the chain of negativity and fear of failure in me and for the future generation... Future generation, haha... sounds so deep. My aunt once read a book called "The Power of Parents' Word"... I dunno the details, but in a sense it's just like what Proverbs said that the life and death is in the power of your tongue. And as a parent, you're holding the power to make or break your child's future... Often times even other influential person such as teachers, relatives and friends can't undo.

I got a job offer. I was and still am very grateful, because my prayer had been answered. Now, the next step was salary negotiating. Most of my friends said that it's not good enough. I received advise from left to right, encouraging me to claim of what should be. Now, my parent is always have to have the last word in things and so when it came to shove... the bomb drops. My parent said the words such as "unworthiness" and "failing" to my ears and managed to bring up all the failures in my life to surface. Let me tell you something, no matter how nice of a tone you're saying it, a negative word is still a negative word and with it came the negative energy. And I wondered how are they expecting me to succeed when they don't even have the faith in me? Not even once I hear a congratulatory word from them. Well, I didn't hear it during my graduation anyway, maybe I shouldn't expect one now.

I called the HR office and tried to 'negotiate' and all the things that I've learned from the past 2 days from my friends gone like a whiff of smoke. It's still inconclusive, and I'm still waiting from them, I think the company was too busy to deal with my questions too. I just rely on my faith that everything will work for the better.

I think, if you don't have anything good to say... something are better left unsaid. You may point out the weaknesses of your child or someone, but neutralize it by recognizing their positive traits. Not pounding on their heads all the negative stuff about them, it'll be hard for them to recover and to believe that they're more than just mediocre or less. Like me, I'm also learning to paraphrase my wording, because I don't want history to be repeated. Let it stop with me. Use your words as a tool to bless and encourage, for you will also be blessed in return... you reap what you sow. You can never reap a good confident kid when you never sow confidence in them, it's that simple.

Advise not criticize.

Through all this, as hard as it was, I started claiming of what is mine. All the positive-ness. That I'm created unique and talented. I am a working progress, but I believe that I'm changing to be better everyday. In a way, I'm trying to see all these as my sharpening tool, if not, then an example of what not to do. If the world gave up on you there's still One who won't, that's your Father in Heaven. I think there's a song by Jaci Velasquez saying, "Don't you know, He still believes in you. No matter who you are and whatever you do." God saw the goodness in you and believes in you... Who are you to doubt Him? It's as though today was a day of encouragement, my Bible reading schedule fell on Psalm 23. I read it as though it's my first time reading that passage. And I'm holding on to the last verse like a child clinging to the hand of her Father...

"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me... All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord... Forever."

Special note: I guess, I win some and loose some. I got a job, but the payment maybe not up to par. I just would like to thank all my friends who already prayed and encouraged me. Hehehe... this sounds like the Oscars, I would like to thank the academy of Friends, amigos, tomodachi, cingu deul, teman2x, peng you (OK, people, start correcting me :P)... For praying, believing and advising me. All of you are truly my blessings. Thank you (in alphabetical order since all y'all are equally important) ... Ah Seng, Ai Pei, Albert, Alinda, Andrea, Armand, Bill, Calvin, Christine, Ciuping, Daniel, Darren, David, Dee, Devina, Edmond, Emily, Felicia, Fiona, Gary, Jay, Jaycee, Jimmy, Jeffrey, Jeffry, Jelaine, Jennifer, Jon, Juju, Kenny, Marleen, Peishan, Sylvia, Thomas, Xiao Ming, Yihong, and sorry if I forgot to name some names... :P And also more friends and my family and relatives in Indonesia, Australia, Singapore and USA. Thank you and bless you all! *bow*

Disclaimer: You may think that I'm weak, because I can't get over things that my parents said to me. This sharing was written so I can also re-read it and remember not to do it and be a better person. And a better parent in the future. Again I would like to stress that my parents are good people. And they want what is best for me. It's just that they don't know and won't understand that what they said to me are just not beneficial at all... And now some of you understand where I got to be dramatic :P