The glass shoes need to be polished...

It's been a month since my last post here. I must say that within this month so many things happen, not just because my work, but everything else too. I can honestly say that I'm being blessed a lot. And yet at the same time, this is no Cinderella tale where as the story book draws to an end it says, "And they lived happily ever after." It saddened me sometimes to realize that I have that illusion in my head.

This coming Wednesday will be my very first month I work for my current place. The working place and the environment is great. I can't complain. Now what I concern the most is to be beneficial to my company. I know that I'm in a learning process still, but time to time again I got intelligence block and verbal diarrhea that hinders me to be the best that I can be. I don't really have any problems with my clients, perhaps only a few occasional nervous wreck and tongue-tied ness. But so far all of them are nice.They may not be diligent with their e-mail replies, but over all they're quite friendly. Either that or I'm too naive to notice that they're just doing their PR session on me. That's another thing. I'm lack of street smarts. No matter how focus I'm trying to be, all I can see is just face value and not the thought behind it. I'm probably the most sincere sales girl you've ever met. As much as I love the thought of getting commission, I would try my best to get a good relationship first. And that may not come hand in hand with the role that I need to play.

Again I also feel the pressure of time. I guess when my friends said that I was having too much time in my hand, this is what they meant. No matter how much time you would like to do that extra stuff with your friends, you have to try to squeeze things into my non-existent agenda. Today I got Monday blues... I was not doing well with my task. Not because I neglected them, but because I was overly cautious that I became reckless. If that even make sense. This would be the second time within 2 weeks. I guess I really have to consult with my boss and hold his hands like a good kindergarten student.

And then yesterday I did something that really make me sad. I didn't hear instruction clearly, hence another wrong conclusion that ended up hurting somebody. Although he's okay with it and even cajoled with me, I was not happy with myself. It ended up making him feel as though I was upset at him when I didn't. I kept on blaming myself and feel as though I need major hearing aid and ADHD pill. Perhaps I do need it. Don't you ever feel that your action is too slow for your brain and another time vice versa?

I guess living in Cinderella palace starting to catch up with reality. I'm praying to God that in everything I would not want to tarnish His image with my shortcomings. Lord, help me...